Need help with a strange fetish?

Two years ago, I got out of a committed relationship with my boyfriend. I was really torn up because of this and began experimenting with ways to get over him. I ended up with tools. First, just bolts and hammer handles and other little things. Then I began eying bigger things: power drills, leaf blowers, even jackhammers. It's not always sexual, sometimes just using them. They're so powerful, and I want to feel dominated and protected again. I promise I am a normal guy, and I don't understand why this is happening to me. Seriously, I need advice on this, no trolls.